Destination Wedding Read online

  Destination Wedding

  Lily Ryan

  Destination Wedding

  First printing, 2017

  Copyright © 2017 by Lily Ryan

  Cover art copyright © by Imagination Uncovered

  Cover photograph copyright © Imagination Uncovered

  Book design by Lily Ryan

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the publisher.

  The persons and events portrayed in this work of fiction are the creations of the author, and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

  Publisher’s Note: The author and publisher have taken care in preparation of this book but make no expressed or implied warranty of any kind and assume no responsibility for errors or omissions. No liability is assumed for incidental or consequential damages in connection with or arising out of the use of the information contained herein.

  Printed in the United States of America

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  Lily's Newsletter

  Chapter 1

  "You want to what?" Something reminiscent of my heart thumps and bumps with fury against my chest. My throat closes and my stomach is on the floor.

  I look into the familiar blue eyes of the man I love. The man I've devoted the last two years of my life to, not believing my ears. Not understanding what he just said.

  "See other people. Spend some time apart. However you want to put it."

  Josh doesn't look at me. Instead, his eyes are downcast as he spins his coffee spoon between his thumb and pointer finger of each hand.

  "You want to break up?" My voice cracks. The words barely leave my mouth. I sound weak. Broken "Why? I don't understand."

  "C'mon Mandy. You know I love you." He stretches his hand out and places it over mine.

  See? That's not what he means. He cares. Of course he does. I didn't hear right. Or he said it to get a reaction from me. Maybe this is part of a plan to upset me before he does something that makes me insanely happy, like propose. This must be a decoy for a proposal!

  His voice pulls me back to the moment.

  "But I'm not in love with you." This time his words sucker punch me in the gut.

  My heart, hopes, and spirit fall. Drop below sea level. Sink down into the dark murky waters skimming the ocean floor.

  "You just woke up this morning and realized you're not in love with me?"

  "Don't make this harder than it has to be. This isn't something I just decided. It's been on my mind for a while. Things haven't been right between us for a long time now. You know what I mean. Don't you, Mandy?"

  I take a long look into his eyes. They aren't cold and hard. Not by any means. But they aren't warm and loving either. They're missing something. Something I can't put my finger on. Something about this eats at me. No, not something. Everything about this nibbles and gnaws at me from the inside out.

  I'm hurting and I don't see one ounce of remorse, not even a hint of regret in him. I don't think he's trying to hurt me, but fuck, it doesn't even look like he cares that he did. I want to lash out and hurt him back, so that he has a clue what this feels like.

  "It didn't seem like you had reservations about us when you were fucking me last night."

  "Don't put this all on me. You had to see this coming."

  Put it on him? He's the one initiating it. And out of the blue. I don't say anything for a few long breaths. Instead I dart my eyes off to the side, because looking at him hurts too damn much.

  It is on him. One hundred percent since he's the one breaking my heart. And I didn't see this coming. Not at all. If I did, I would've held back, pulled away. Instead, I envisioned a future together, with a house and children. I gave him all of me. Everything I have. Everything I am.

  I handed him my heart and soul without asking for much in return. Just his love and devotion. I guess that was too much for him. Too much for such a self-centered prick.

  "There's someone else isn't there?" It's the only thing that makes sense. The only way he can justify walking away from us. "You're breaking up with me so you can fuck her with a clear conscious."

  "Mandy."

  "Or have you fucked her already? You have, haven't you, you selfish bastard?"

  "Why am I selfish?" He leans in and growls at me in a low voice from across the table. "Because my feelings changed? Because I'm tired of being stifled by you? Am I supposed to sacrifice the rest of my life, my entire future, because we have a casual fling that lasted a couple of years?"

  Who is this man?

  "A casual fling? I practically live with you."

  "Exactly."

  I pull back, unable to process this. Is this why he feels stifled? He's the one that insisted we exchange keys and that I leave stuff at his place. He's the one that stops me from leaving most nights because his bed is cold and empty without me.

  "I'm sorry, Mandy. But this is what being single is about. If something isn't working you move on."

  Except for the last six months he's been the one assuring me that we work perfectly together. Like a well-oiled wheel. Not that I had reservations about us, but I had a job offer to be a junior buyer at an exclusive boutique chain. It's what I always wanted. The only problem was that I'd have to move an hour and a half away. Josh didn't want me to. He couldn't bear to be that far from me.

  And now this?

  "It's the new hostess you work with at the restaurant isn't it? The one with the huge tits. I knew you had a thing for her."

  "You're being ridiculous. There isn't anyone else. I'm not leaving you for another woman."

  "Bullshit. That's the only reason you'd leave me."

  I know I'm right too. He has it too good with me. I do his laundry, shop for him. I even clean his apartment. Not to mention sex anytime he wants it. His jaw clenches and anger flashes in his eyes. Too damn bad if I'm making this harder than he wants it to be. I gave up a golden opportunity because of him. And for what?

  "Look, Mandy. I want to feel that excitement again. The nervous jitters I'd have before we'd see each other. Not being able to keep my hands off you once we're together. My mind racing with thoughts of fucking you every second of the day whether we're together or not."

  "We were unemployed college graduates when we started dating. All we could really afford to do was fuck. Wake the fuck up, Josh. This is the real world. There are commitments and obligations. It consists of more than just sex."

  "Maybe for you it does." He drops his eyes and looks down at the table. "All I'm saying is let's take a couple of weeks off. Go to London for Gianna's wedding. We'll touch base when you get back and see where things are at."

  "You're not coming?"

  He lets out a long breath. "It's best if I don't."

  "Are you fucking kidding me? This couldn't wait until after the wedding? Maybe the trip is what we need to get things back on track."

  "No. This is the right time for a break."

  "Jackass. You waited until five days before we're supposed to leave to drop this on me?"

  "I'm not going to waste my vacation time or money on a trip I don't want to take when I know it's better for us to go our separate ways."

  Not only is he fine that he's standing me up at the last minute, he doesn't seem to care at all about the embarrassing position he's putting me in. While I sit here trying to piece together my broken, bleeding heart, Josh pulls his phone out of his pocket and taps away at the screen. I clasp my hands together tight to hold back from slapping it out of his hands. I bet he's texting with Ms. Big Tits right now.

  "Really? You can't even extend me the courtesy of no
t texting with her while you break up with me?"

  "I'm not."

  Why the fuck am I holding back? Am I really trying to salvage anything with this prick? No. If he can be so callous, so heartless, I don't want to be with him. Besides, it doesn't seem like there's anything left to fight for. I already lost him.

  In a flash, I snatch the phone out of Josh's hand. Before I can read what he typed my eyes focus on the screen shot of two petite naked bodies with tiny waists and big tits. The women are holding each other close, blowing a kiss to the camera.

  Everything up to this moment wore me down. His words until now had me weak and on the ropes. This, however, knocked the air from my lungs and has my head spinning. This is the knockout blow.

  Without any sort of apology or explanation, Josh grabs his phone and yanks it out of my hands.

  I'm so done with this fucker!

  "Looks like you're hot and bothered. This should cool you off," I say, getting to my feet and dumping my water in his lap.

  "Fuck!" Josh jumps up.

  I walk out not giving a fuck what he does next.

  Chapter 2

  "I can't believe he did this now. Five days before we're supposed to leave for London." I sniffle, transferring the phone to my other hand.

  "Are you kidding?" Gianna sounds bubbly and happy. Very happy. Maybe she didn't hear me?

  "Do you get what I said? Josh broke up with me."

  "I heard you loud and clear. Listen, Mandy. King Scum Bucket did you a favor."

  Her over the top, cheerful attitude is pissing me off. I get that she's excited about the trip and her wedding, but I'd expect her to scrape up an ounce of compassion for me. I am her best friend.

  "I'm getting married next week in London. London! And you're going to be there with me, right by my side. At least he had the decency to break up with you now instead of making you miserable the whole time you're there, only to do it when you come back."

  "I'm sorry if I don't see it that way."

  "All I mean is now you can let your hair down and have a good time. Guilt free!"

  "Good time? Josh pretty much killed that and ensured I'll be miserable for the entire trip."

  "If you're miserable that's on you. Not Josh. And sure as shit not on me. We're going to have a bachelorette party that's going to be the envy of all bachelorette parties. We're going to the hottest club in county and going to party like there's no tomorrow!"

  "C'mon, G, I'm not up for that."

  "Well get up for it. Or the only one you'll be letting down is me. You're my best friend and my maid of honor. It's your job to make sure we live up my last nights of being single."

  "That's why I'm so upset. Maybe I shouldn't even go. I don't want to let you down and right now, I'm pretty sure that's what I'll be doing."

  "Oh no you don't. You're not going to let that dip-shit stop you from standing next to me on the most important day of my life. You're coming. Even if I have to drag you by the hair, you’re not bailing on me. Because guys come and go. You and I are forever."

  *

  Before I leave for the airport I pack all of Josh's shit, all our pictures together, everything that reminds me of him in a cardboard box, and stick it in a corner of the living room. I should dump the whole lot of it in front of his door, but decide against it. I don't want to risk seeing some slut parade out of his apartment in her post-sex glory.

  Maybe I'll just toss the box in the trash. I consider it, but I'm not ready to execute just yet. Once I toss it all, I know that signifies there's no going back. I'm not sure if I'm at the point where I can say definitively I won't take him back when he comes begging for another chance.

  I squeeze my eyes closed tight. I shouldn't be planning on him coming back or else I'll never get over him. He wants his freedom, he's got it. There's no reason to believe he'll regret his choice once he has a taste of life without me. But I know he will. Whether he admits it or not, I'm the best thing that ever happened to him.

  Thanks to Josh's late cancellation, the window seat to my left is empty. I think of moving over, but I never liked the window seat on a plane. It makes me nervous to look outside and see nothing but clouds and sky.

  The large man to my right is popping out of his seat. His arm rests on the divider between us and overflows over onto my side. I shift my weight toward the empty seat, fighting the sadness I feel knowing who is supposed to be sitting there. The strange man's pudgy arm drops from the arm rest onto my thigh.

  With a loud huff, I stand and switch to the empty seat. The man shoots me a dirty look. I know I'm coming across like a total bitch, but I really don't care. It's not that I have anything against overweight people, I mean I'm no waif. A fact Josh used almost daily to convince me to go with a salad for dinner and avoid dessert.

  I feel bad. The poor guy with the unfortunate luck to be seated next to me probably thinks I'm a snob. I don't mean to be. I really don't care how the man looks. That's not why I moved. I just don't want to be that physically close to anyone. I don't want a stranger touching me. Especially not for seven and a half hours.

  Once the seatbelt light turns off, Gianna makes her way from her row of seats over to mine. She squeezes past the man in the aisle seat and drops down next to me. She links her arm through mine and leans in close, invading my personal space. At first I think she's trying to avoid the overweight man in the connecting seat, but once she starts speaking, I know that's not what's motivating her to get all touchy feely.

  "Do you have any idea how sweet and beautiful you are?" She asks, laying her head on my shoulder.

  "What?"

  "You really are, Mandy. You are the sweetest person I know. Always looking out for everyone around you. Making sure everyone is happy. You deserve happiness, too."

  I'm not sure why I'm getting this lecture, but she continues.

  "As much as you don't want to hear this, Josh wasn't the one for you. He didn't make you happy."

  Great she waits until I'm trapped tens of thousands of miles in the air and have absolutely no where to escape to have this conversation.

  "I don't want to talk about it."

  "I know. But I don't want to see you let this thing with him eat away at you and make you doubt yourself. He's a jackass and he doesn't deserve you."

  "This thing? You mean the break up? The fact that he dumped me for someone else? The fact that the man I love doesn't want to be with my anymore? Is that the thing you're referring to?"

  "Yes."

  "Well I wasn't thinking about him, or this thing, as you referred to it, until you brought it up."

  "Mandy."

  The tone of her voice tells me she knows I'm lying, knowing she knows is good enough. I don't have to admit it. And I don't have to continue with this unwelcome reminder of how sucky my life is right now.

  "Look, I know you're getting married, and you're happy, I'm happy for you, I really, truly am. But that doesn't mean my life stops. That everything that touches me, hurts me, just magically evaporates."

  "I know, Mandy. I get it. You were with him for a long time. It's okay to hurt. Just don't let it take over your life. And don't change who you are inside or out for him."

  "I'm not. I never did. Why would you even say that?"

  "I was there for a lot of it. I know how he tried to control what you did and how you looked. It's only been a few days and already I can see that you lost weight. I just hope you're not starving yourself to make him happy. That you're not hoping he'll see what you think is the new and improved you and want to get back together."

  "I'm not. I don't," I lie. "I just don't much feel like eating is all."

  "Maybe that's a good thing. I hear the food there takes some getting used to."

  Even though she can't see it because her head is on my shoulder, I offer her a smile. At least a hint of a smile.

  "I know you're worried. I'll be fine. I just need time."

  "You know," her tone turns playful. "A couple of Sam's friends are on the plane.
Two of them already asked about you."

  "Gianna."

  "I know. I know," she sounds deflated. "It's too soon. You're not ready. That's what I told them. They're really nice guys, not to mention incredibly hawt. You owe it to yourself to live it up and have some fun."

  "Maybe some other time."

  "If you change your mind, they'd love to meet you."

  "It's not going to happen."

  She nods. "Okay. I should get back to my fiancé." She holds out her hand donned with the engagement ring and admires the sparkling diamonds.

  "Tell Prince Charming I said hi."

  "Will do."

  Gianna gives me a loud, cheery kiss on the cheek, and squeezes out of the aisle the same way she came in. I take a long breath, and stare at the clouds. I wonder how many times we're going to have this conversation over the next week. Not wanting to live in reality, I plug in my ear buds and pull out a book. This way I can live someone else's life until we land.

  Chapter 3

  After retrieving our packages and making our way through Customs, we step outside of the terminal to find a minibus waiting for our group. I don't know how they pulled this off, but so far all the travel arrangements are going smoothly. Much smoother than I expected. I only hope it continues like this.

  "Wow! This place is even more stunning in person!" Gianna says, when the bus pulls up to the hotel.

  She's not kidding. It's gorgeous. Worlds nicer than any hotel I ever stayed in.

  Climbing up the steps of the entrance, I feel like I stepped back in time. The stone garnish decorating the outside, along with the high sprawling arches boast class and elegance. Even through my tired, burning, half open eyes I can see that. I feel it all around me.

  I look around open mouthed and awed.

  The building might have been erected over a hundred and fifty years ago, but the only thing aged about it is its charm. Nothing looks old or in disrepair. The inside of the hotel has been renovated and modernized. The lobby dons a marble floor with matching pillars, along with plush, cushioned seats and crystal chandeliers.